i dont know why, but the 4th of july brings out a lot of very conflicting emotions in me. its weird but true. i was gazing up at the fireworks, out in the field at statesmen's park, and i was feeling. i wish i could adequately explain it. it was one of those moments when you are happy, but sad; excited but nervous. opposites, opposites. but in the non-emo side of things, we had another amazing day. (not so great as the house finding day, but still up there). the city of cleveland through us a 4th of July bash, complete with barbecued pork (delicious), sodas, waters, ice cream, and a fireworks extravaganza. this city and this community have been so welcoming to us, i honestly dont know if we deserve the accolades and praise. it does feel real good though. we may have gone to wal mart beforehand and gotten red visors (and shirts for our freedom party that we are hosting in our new house in two weeks. more details on that extravaganza to come later. i dont have the strength to do so right at this moment). i felt so lucky to be in cleveland mississippi and live in our free country. happy 4th of july, a day late, but happy 4th nonetheless.
today was a long day. It was a necessary reprieve from the travail of teaching (im hating that i suck so bad at something every day, and that my kids suffer because of it. terrible feeling) but when i get time to think...man i think WAY too much. i did learn something incredibly important today though- exercise! it works wonders! i did some sprints, some abs, and i got to see the loveliest little neighborhood that is next to the campus. being outside and moving my body and actually seeing landscape and reality...does wonders for the psyche. tonight- im going to focus on not being so inside of myself. its so annoying to me and im sure its annoying to other people. and maybe ill hit up sonic yet again, its definitely one of those days.
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